A miscarriage is a horrible personal tragedy, and you are likely experiencing a wide range of emotions. Anything from the need to grieve the death of your unborn child to thoughts of avoiding future pregnancy may be going through your mind. Grief is a unique process, and any feeling you could possibly have is valid. Having to return to work after a miscarriage can be a very tricky thing. Here is how you can get through the initial process as painlessly as possible.
Instructions
1. Walk in with a smile. Yes, everybody knows that you've experienced a horrific personal loss. Your co-workers have probably taken efforts to show you that they are sorry, and you may have many offering you support during this time. Whatever the case may be, you want to assure others that you are not falling apart. Even if you are, you need to be calm in the workplace in order to move on at work. Otherwise, you will soon be sent home for some more healing time.
2. Make sure you have somebody that you can go to if things get tough on the job. It could be a trusted friend or co-worker, or it could be a therapist that you can call. You need to have somebody there so that you can fall apart when needed, and a companion will help you pull yourself back together to get through the work day. This is really important to establish before returning to the work force.
3. Think of an escape route. It is normal to get overwhelmed and burst into tears seemingly unprovoked during the grieving process. Hormones may also be wreaking havoc on your body at this time. Discover a way that you can easily dismiss yourself without creating a scene. Establishing a fake illness such as a bladder problem to escape to the restroom may even be necessary. Think it through, and do what it takes so that you know you have a way out if you just need to cry it out in the middle of the day.
4. Focus on your work. It's imperative that you completely narrow in on certain projects. This is the time to get serious about your passions, and choose to work on things that will most fulfilling. Nothing can bring priorities clearly into focus like a loss, and you shouldn't ignore this epiphany.
5. Listen to your own heart. You know if the time is right to go back to work full-time or part-time. It's alright to change your mind if you go back for a few days. You may discover that you were not ready to return to work. Assess your personal situation and your financial situation. Talk this over with your partner. Make the right choice for you and your health.
6. Practice zero tolerance when it comes to others bringing the subject of your miscarriage up. If somebody has the ill manners or misguided compassion that leads them to asking you about your misfortune, firmly inform the person that you do not appreciate the conversation. Say this firmly, and make sure the point is understood. You will not talk about it, and you resent questions about it. Follow it up with expressing gratitude that the person cared to ask about you, but re-affirm that certain subjects are too painful to discuss at work. You will have taught them an important social lesson, and many potential future victims should be thanking you.
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